Jesus, why do I suddenly feel like I’m in The Roommate and you/your cat are going to kill all my friends?
Sebastian, you watched The Roommate? I think it goes without saying that I am somewhat disappointed in you. I picked you for a classic movie man
or perhaps that’s just me projecting
And please. I’d only ever kill you if you did something truly terrible to warrant execution Mr Puss, well… I’ll keep him close, so no need to worry about that.
Yelling at us to focus our time on better things than “blogging platforms,” obsessively checking on me in the dorm to make sure I haven’t burnt anything down…
Is this part of the game? He’s probably trying to like, wig me out super bad now because I’m expecting him to strike back, so he’s laying low so that I’m super paranoid and then he’s going to attack when I least expect it. Right?
Your password is Colorado Springs, no spaces and no caps. After you leave, I google cat porn sites and just open a bunch of tabs’ worth. The fish wallpaper is from google images. If you look in your pictures folder, there’s probably around ninety photos of Mr. Puss, because I put him in front of the laptop and would take webcam shots of him so that you thought he was taking selfies.
It was all worth it when I overheard you telling the guys at your lunch table that your cat has a porn addiction, believe me.
It seems you definitely live up to your username, Seb! I can’t say I’m not amused, because that sort of cunning is much appreciated in the Warblers. So, well done, Seb - you win this round..
I’ll get you next time
None of your business.
Would you care to rephrase that, Jeff?
Hunter, I have a confession to make.
See, I’m at an internal impasse right now. On one hand, I’m incredibly terrified that my roommate may or may not think that his cat has the intelligence level or the motor skills to make and run a blog. On the other hand, I’m one hundred and ten percent sure that was Hunter Clarington’s attempt at humor, but that in itself is a contradiction, because Hunter Clarington can only make commands and give people stern looks; he does not have the emotional range for humor. Thus, I have no idea how to reply to this.
For one, Mr Puss is most certainly capable of running his own blog. I have come into my room many a time to find my laptop mysteriously up and running, despite the fact I had closed it down beforehand. Which means I must wade through a plethora of kitty sex sites, and delete the fish aquarium screensaver, fully at risk to my personal mental wellbeing.
Sebastian, please! Like Mr Puss’ ability to dig out the most appalling cat porn, I too hold the ability to make excellent jokes. It is merely my duty as Warbler captain that restricts this particular part of my personality. However, as I recently deigned to make you co-captain
this was only based on your performance at sectionals, nothing more, I swear it we shall, indeed, be spending more time together. Perhaps then you will be further enlightened.
So … no Warblers. For a month.
And disappointingly, this is due to a result of… what, exactly?